What is God trying to teach me?

Where I grew up in the mountains of New Mexico. April 2010 by Candy Clonts

It has been about  three weeks since my last post and it seems as if it were longer than that.

So many things have taken place. My brother got sick  and needed to help him. I came home for a few days and tried to play catch-up at home and have some time with my family, but God had other plans down the line.  My younger sister, at 48, had a heart attack.

We live in a small, mid-size, community with a small hospital, so they air-vaced her out to a larger hospital, 2 hrs. away, driving time, one that had a cardio unit.

All first initial tests revealed shed was having a heart attack and her blood tests were continuing to elevate.

BUT GOD, had other things in store. She had an angiogram done and there was no damage to the heart, valves are working properly, and the blood flow is good. Then there was an ultrasound of other arteries throughout the body, all clear of blood clots and no thinning or other blockages. Later and echocardiogram, again everything looked good.

It was determined she had a “muscle spasm” of the heart aka “mild heart attack” and a BIG wake-up call for all of the family.

I have been home for a few days and still exhausted.

I have had to ask myself “Lord what is going on here? I know that You are in control of ALL things and I don’t question that, what is it You want me to teach me, see and learn from this? What changes do I need to make in my physical and spiritual life?” There have been other quandaries also, but….

My sister is home and recovering well. She is going to have to change diet, exercise and a few other things as with most, if not all cardio patience.

The reason this has been seemingly so hard, is that 2 years ago this June I almost lost my dad (3x in a 2 month span of time) to cancer, followed by many complications. This and other illnesses have left him in a wheelchair and dependant on others, especial my mom and sister, for many things…not everything. He was hospitalized for about 3 months. Then a year ago in March my mom was diagnosed with COPD and congestive heart failure. Following in April with a heart attack and a quadruple bypass and a 3cm aneurism in the arterial artery below her stomach… I feel I have had my share of ups and downs with “scary” family health issues. But that is not my call, nor is it within my control.

I KNOW that the Lord is wanting more of me given to Him, He desires a relationship with me and with you. Yes it has been a struggle to say the least at times, but “God is faithful”.  (Hebrews 10:23 Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;)

Jeremiah 29:11 
    For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Thank You Lord, this is my hope in You. You are the One that knows what I need down to the very last detail. I am trusting You, “I have no other place to go.” (John 6:68 …Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life.)

Proverbs 6:20-23 
    My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: [21] Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. [22] When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. [23] For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life:

This is my hearts desire to know His Word, to hold on to it, believe it and obey it.

His grace is amazing and His hope is indescribable.

Thank you my Lord and Savior; Master and Creator of all things, You are the Author of my life and You write my life story and I ask you help me to live it so that it is pleasing and honoring unto You.